Find Love at Bannatyne’s Peterborough

It’s not uncommon for businesses to cash in on events like Valentines day. You know the kind of thing, florists reminding absent minded men to order a dozen roses or restaurants offering special menus for couples, but when I had an email from Bannatyne’s Health Club gym in Peterborough I was a bit unsure as to the message they were trying to get across…

I’m sure Duncan (who comes across on TV as pretty down to earth and a straight-talker) would be horrified to see his company represented in an email like this.  There really isn’t any excuse for it these days when thousands of web professionals would be willing to create a half-decent attempt for the cost of a couple of month’s gym membership.  Bannatyne in Peterborough is only a stone’s throw away from a web agency in Papyrus Road so there really is no excuse to cut corners like this.

“Bannatyne’s Babes” would be a great name for the company

As you can probably guess, I’m not that impressed.  The email fails me on so many levels:

Message Tone

My initial reaction was that Bannatyne’s had reassessed it’s business from being a health club and gym into something a whole lot seedier.  I have visions of Duncan himself wearing a pimp outfit, enticing members into the gym with a selection of girls.  I’m not sure is really the look that Duncan was hoping for but if it was, “Bannatyne’s Babes” would be a great name for the company, no?

So what are they trying to sell if it’s not sexual encounters?  Are they trying to love muscle in on the dating industry?  Offering potential new members the opportunity to vett prospective lovers by seeing them wearing tracky bottoms and sweating from head to toe?  The email mentions “benefits”, but leaves that up to the reader’s imagination.  The email also states “No Joining Fee*” but fails to include the reference to a footnote so there’s obviously some get out clause but what it is is anyone’s guess.  Answers on a postcard…

Design

The standard of the email’s design is just appalling and quite possibly designed by someone’s 6 year old who has recently developed a skill with WordArt.  Fans of Comic Sans will be pleased to see their needs are adequately met which I’m sure is a somehow a saving grace.

Also worth noting is the expert way in which the body text has been placed over the photo of the woman as she teases the email’s recipients by stretching herself to her full capacity.  It’s just as shame whoever composed the email didn’t attach a sound byte of Kenneth Williams, but no doubt if they did it would have gone horribly wrong.

Legalities

Please tick this box if you would NOT like to be added to our mailing list.

My only contact with Bannatyne’s in Peterborough where they captured my email address, was from the online enquiry form where I explicitly ticked the checkbox next to “Please tick this box if you would NOT like to be added to our mailing list.“  I know the request to opt-out was received as my original enquiry was attached to the bottom of the Valentines day mailing, where “Mailing List – OPT OUT” is clearly stated, so why have they blatantly ignored my request?

I already get plenty of SPAM from companies trying to flog their wares and at over 900k this unsolicited email from Bannatyne’s certainly wasn’t worth downloading.  Not only that but they also haven’t provided me with the opportunity to unsubscribe and the email doesn’t contain Bannatyne’s company registration number, place of registration or registered office in accordance with the Companies Act 1985.

If anyone else has received similar shocking emails whether from Bannatyne’s gym, a rival health club or from any other company, then leave a comment below as I’d love to hear your experiences!

I’ll tell you where I am.  I’m out.